Supporting someone
bereaved by suicide
The support you provide can help the grieving process
When supporting someone that has been bereaved by suicide, you might feel unsure of whether you can offer the right support or say the right words.
One thing to remember is that the support of friends, family and community can make a big difference for someone experiencing suicide loss. While you can’t take their grief or pain away, the support that you provide can help them through the grieving process.
If you are supporting someone that is grieving a loss through suicide, you might find it helpful to understand the common experiences and feelings associated with suicide loss. Being bereaved by suicide can bring about specific experiences of guilt, anger and shame, as well as a wide range of other emotions. Being aware of these common experiences can help you to have a better understanding of what someone may be going through.
Learn more here: Grief after a suicide
What can I do?
You can support someone bereaved by suicide in various ways. Grief is different for everyone, and what helps one person may not help another.
Think carefully about what support you can offer and follow the person’s lead on what support they would like to receive. Here are some ideas on ways to support:
Acknowledge what has happened. It is common to feel unsure or uncomfortable talking about death or suicide. You might be worried that you will say the wrong thing, but avoiding the topic or staying silent can only add to the grief and isolation that the person may be feeling.
Reach out. Check in on them without expecting a response in return. When grieving, it can be hard or overwhelming to try and respond, adding further stress or guilt.
Non-judgmental listening. If the person who is bereaved is open to talking, take time to listen in an open, non-judgmental way. You may feel like interrupting to ask questions or offer solutions, but try and let the person lead the conversation.
Allow them to grieve openly. Grieving a suicide can bring about a lot of strong, conflicting and complex emotions. Create a space for the bereaved person to express their own thoughts and experiences, without judgment.
Offer practical support. Helping out with practical tasks can help create space for the person that is bereaved. Offer to wash dishes, do their laundry or cook meals. Depending on the situation, the person bereaved may also need support in talking to police, hospital staff and coroners.
Help the person honour the person they lost. Encourage the person to talk about the person that they have lost and share memories, if they would like to.
Create rituals. Acknowledge and be aware of special occasions and anniversaries. If the person is open to it, help to create a special ritual that honours the person that has died.
Understand your own boundaries. Supporting someone that is bereaved by suicide can be challenging. It is important to make sure that you are aware of your own boundaries and take care of yourself when supporting someone else. Learn more about boundaries and keeping yourself safe.
Connect them with additional support. Being bereaved by suicide can be extremely challenging and you may not feel like you are able to provide the support that the person needs. If the person bereaved is open to it, help them to connect to other services to provide them additional support.