Leone’s Story
Suicide has touched my life in many ways over the years and I imagine will continue to.
I have experienced the loss of friends and family. I have had thoughts of suicide, have made plans and have been rescued. I have lived carelessly, self-harmed and taken risks. I have had contributing factors such as an eating disorder.
With time and therapy I moved away from my own thoughts of suicide and was proud to utilise my lived experiences with an eating disorder and thoughts of suicide to work in the mental health space for a time. I worked at an eating disorder foundation and as a Lifeline crisis support counsellor on their hotline. I was immensely proud of being able to do these jobs and it was both confronting and healing. I always hoped I made some small difference in the lives of the people I spoke to. Ultimately I found that having had my own experiences and working in the mental health sector was too emotionally challenging to continue long term and now I find it is more rewarding to assist when I feel the need arise.
“My personal experiences with thoughts of suicide, losing friends and family, and working with people in mental health crisis have made me a lot more responsive to both taking care of my own mental health and being able to have conversations with people about theirs.”
In terms of my LGBTQIA+ identity the reasons for my period of poor mental health were complex. Whilst my identity has been a contributing factor it is one of many. Over time through connecting with others in the LGBTQIA+ community and support groups, I have become more comfortable with my sexuality and gender and this has had a positive effect on my overall mental health.
My personal experiences with thoughts of suicide, losing friends and family, and working with people in mental health crisis have made me a lot more responsive to both taking care of my own mental health and being able to have conversations with people about theirs. If someone indicates to me that they are struggling in any way I usually ask “do you have thoughts of suicide?” and recall my Lifeline training.
Most recently my cousin died by suicide. I was angry that I have found strategies to support good mental health and they didn’t. But I will always have hope that anyone who experiences mental health crisis can make it to a place of good mental health that they can proactively manage with the right support. It takes time and patience.
For me, I manage my mental health through healthy eating, exercise, checking in with a psychologist on a monthly basis, being active in some way in the LGBTQIA+ community and through hobbies like reading, writing poetry and stories and continued learning.