Charlie’s Poem

“And yet, I see your face and form

Hear your laughter and witness your heart. 

In the micro-moments with strangers and friends

Even though I know we’re apart. ”

— Charlie

It’s hard being honest about what I’m feeling

Knowing who to tell what especially when I’m reeling. 

Surviving something unsurvivable is surreal

Time loses meaning and people don’t feel real. 

I struggle to connect, and can’t help but reject

The mundane, the privilege and deceit. 

I wear a mask with such large cracks

But when people peer through I retreat. 

I’m jealous of those who still have a mum,

A partner, an uncle and brother. 

I’ve lost my best friend and no one can replace them,

They were like no other. 

And yet, I see your face and form

Hear your laughter and witness your heart. 

In the micro-moments with strangers and friends

Even though I know we’re apart. 

And I’m stuck in this cycle, of wanting to be close to you

But missing all that I’ve lost

Knowing we’ll never make new memories

Is just too much of a cost. 

So instead I’ve found others like me

Who in grief and love surround

Share my pain and lighten the load

And together we put our masks down.